Perspective

It's been ages since I've sat down to write out my thoughts and feelings. It's probably because I can't ever narrow my thoughts down enough to even write a title..Recently though, I've been thinking a lot about perspective. When my father in law, Pat, passed away last year, my perspective on everything had to be evaluated. This gospel I've lived and believed in for my whole life, was it actually true? Of course I've  gotten that answer before in my life many tines, that the gospel of Jesus Christ is in fact true, but I'd never truly been tested on that fact until July 30 of last year. The conclusion that I eventually came to is that our Heavenly Father loves us beyond measure, and certainly beyond comprehension. But what does that actually mean for me? I have to believe that what happens on this earth truly will transcend from this life to the next, that what I'm doing today actually matters.  I believe with my whole heart that reading the Book of Mormon every day  with my family is the absolute best thing I can do as a mother and wife. I know that it helps each one of us keep the spirit close throughout the day, I also know that even more than that, it's preparing us in ways we don't yet know to see God and Jesus Christ again. When I realized this, eternal perspective made so much more sense to me. Our lives are so much more than this mortal existence. The tricky thing is that mortal existence is pretty tough. I feel like I'm in a constant fight with at least one of my kids, some  days just making it to bedtime seems daunting, feeding my family can feel overwhelming, keeping the house clean is a whole other issue. So now my daily battle is making sure my mortal existence is matching up with my eternal perspective. I pray that I'm doing all I can to ensure that my family will all be together forever after this life is over, but that what  I'm lacking will be made up for. Most  of my daily prayer consists of thoughts and questions about my kids, because if we're being honest, am I ever doing anything right as a mom?! Just kidding, kind of. Being a parent is a hard thing to figure out.. but if Heavnly Father loves me more than I can comprehend, then that also means that he loves Landon, Chloe, and Jackson more than I love them.. which frankly seems impossible to me because they are my world. BUT, since I know that it's true, I know that He has placed an immense amount of trust in me to raise them, and that even on my worst day I'm doing better than I think I am.  I'm thankful for that kind of knowledge in my life, and I'm thankful that the hard times that have come from losing someone who I love and respect so much helped me learn, and helped me grow closer to my Savior.